Last Sneak peek for my upcoming book
The Soul of a Black Woman:
Journeys Through Poetry
By Meika J Cole
Coming October 2017
Confessions of a Side Chick
I see the fury and hatred in your eyes
and I apologize but it is what it is.
I wish I could offer a remedy
For the hurt that you felt because of me.
I get it
You can’t forget it
But you forgave him.
So, miss me with the evil looks
and side eyes
Because I am trying to pick up the remnants of my life
Because he never told me
that he had a wife.
While he was away with you
Doing what a “family man” supposed to do
I believed the lies about working overtime
So that he could provide for his kids.
I was playing my position
Not to mention
trying to downplay that female intuition
because real talk my spirit wasn’t really with it
Something just didn’t feel right
But I didn’t want to be that woman
Cuz’ I didn’t want to ruin
of him and me.
Yes, I will admit
There were inconsistencies
But because of my relationship history
I chalked it up
Because I thought I was thinking too much.
I let my flesh get the best of me
Because I loved our chemistry
So, I totally overlooked the discrepancies
in all of his stories
Believing him when he said he loved me.
See we had more than just a fling
Things were mental
Later morphing into the physical.
My Father wasn’t pleased
So he had to remove my blinders
and let me see things more clearly
That’s when the streets told me about you
and eventually you found out about me too.
But what you didn’t know was that a child was conceived.
So to protect myself
I terminated my seed.
Living daily with shame
Because that was not the life I saw for me.
Daily I struggle with the fact that
I dishonored myself
and I disobeyed God.
You chose to stay
While I decided to pray
Asking God to forgive me for my indiscretions
Learning from painful lessons
of the heart.
And I pray that all is well with you
But sista girl,
you gone have to stop
mean mugging when you see me out.
I understand that you were hurt
I was deceived too
So the next time you see me
understand that this hurt I have
Goes far deeper than you
I wasn’t just a side chick.