Confessions a Side Chick

Last Sneak peek for my upcoming book
The Soul of a Black Woman:
Journeys Through Poetry
By Meika J Cole
Coming October 2017

Confessions of a Side Chick

  • Indeed,
    I see the fury and hatred in your eyes
    and I apologize but it is what it is.
    I wish I could offer a remedy
    For the hurt that you felt because of me.
    I get it
    He cheated
    You can’t forget it
    But you forgave him.
    So, miss me with the evil looks
    and side eyes
    Because I am trying to pick up the remnants of my life
    Because he never told me
    that he had a wife.
    While he was away with you
    Doing what a “family man” supposed to do
    I believed the lies about working overtime
    So that he could provide for his kids.
    I was playing my position
    Not to mention
    trying to downplay that female intuition
    because real talk my spirit wasn’t really with it
    Something just didn’t feel right
    But I didn’t want to be that woman
    Constantly assuming.
    Cuz’ I didn’t want to ruin
    the possibility
    of him and me.
    Yes, I will admit
    There were inconsistencies
    But because of my relationship history
    I chalked it up
    Because I thought I was thinking too much.
    I let my flesh get the best of me
    Because I loved our chemistry
    So, I totally overlooked the discrepancies
    in all of his stories
    Believing him when he said he loved me.
    See we had more than just a fling
    Things were mental
    Later morphing into the physical.
    My Father wasn’t pleased
    So he had to remove my blinders
    and let me see things more clearly
    That’s when the streets told me about you
    and eventually you found out about me too.
    But what you didn’t know was that a child was conceived.
    So to protect myself
    I terminated my seed.
    Living daily with shame
    Because that was not the life I saw for me.
    Daily I struggle with the fact that
    I dishonored myself
    and I disobeyed God.
    You chose to stay
    While I decided to pray
    Asking God to forgive me for my indiscretions
    Learning from painful lessons
    of the heart.
    And I pray that all is well with you
    But sista girl,
    you gone have to stop
    mean mugging when you see me out.
    I understand that you were hurt
    I was deceived too
    So the next time you see me
    understand that this hurt I have
    Goes far deeper than you

    I wasn’t just a side chick.

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